If you’ve ever participated in a self-help workshop or career coaching program, you might have heard the coach or facilitator mention how powerful our thoughts are and how thoughts influence our confidence, and our physical and emotional health. But what happens when an unfamiliar sentence or a phrase enters our mind, seemingly from nowhere, and then flows from our mouths?
At the last Wednesday Word-of-the-Day webinar, Marilyn asked us to close our eyes and allow an image to come forth. My image was of myself, bent over my laptop, looking happy, then worried, excited, and then deflated. What was the reason for this fluctuation in emotions?
I had finally completed my first full-length novel, and I started my rewrite.
When Marilyn asked us to choose a word for the image I’d conjured, I chose wishy-washy. The words in my first and second clusters reflected my feelings about my work. I had gone from happy, excited tears I had shed after completing my first draft to rolling my eyes at words and scenes I had written, to nail-biting, procrastination, and a complete lack of confidence.
My writing went something like this after the clustering:
It’s finished!
Well, not really.
The first-pass rewrite has just begun.
Excitement
Happy tears
Keyboard tippy taps
It’s good!
No.
It’s not.
Bent over my computer
Eyes rolling
Why?
Frown
Biting my nails.
But I know.
I know!
It’s not terrible…
But is it GOOD?
A wave washes over me
Drowning
In uncertainty.
From this exercise, I realized I had labeled myself as wishy-washy. That is never a word that I would have ever used to describe myself. I was shocked. But from there, my problem was solved. I wasn’t going to let that word drive my work or define me. I knew what I had to do.
The next day, I could work on my rewrite from a place of confidence, drawing from my past experiences, workshops, and teachings from Marilyn and the editors and content writers I had the privilege to work with. Ideas, edits, and changes flowed easily into my work.
Emily Dickenson was quoted as saying:
A word is dead when it is said some say,
I say it just begins to live that day.
A thought or a label that rolls off our tongue can shape or completely change our perception of ourselves. But this exercise showed me that I can rewrite the narrative. Just as my novel will evolve through the upcoming drafts, I can change too through words that propel me forward rather than voicing words that hold me back.
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